I was walking Sage and Rei together the other night and were heading back toward our house when we saw a guy walking toward us aways away. It was our neighbor, Kip, who is a big friendly guy that loves dogs but recently lost his own dog, Jesse, to stomach cancer. Jesse was also a reactive dog and Sage feared her greatly, to the point where he became very stressed walking on her part of the road lest she might pop up on a walk and we arranged to text each other when we took either dog out for a walk. Since Sage loves people and Kip loves dogs, there is no reason for Sage to fear Kip by association with Jesse, now that Jesse is gone. I was out of treats, but I decided to play this situation out and see how it went.
Walking toward each other, but on opp sides of the road, Sage growled at Kip at about 40 yds. Sage is wary of anything unfamiliar or unconfirmed, so speaking friendly to a person seems to reduce Sage’s concern about strangers, gives him a chance to recognize them if he already knows them (at which points he goes into kissy-lean-against-you-for pats mode) I think it tells him that I know this person and gives them a chance to make friendly sounds back. Since stopping always results in MORE reaction from Sage, I walked him in a canine-polite arc away from and to a line a little past Kip so that he was not between Rei Sage and I and our house.
We stopped and I stepped in front of Sage, who was now sure that’s Jesse’s dad and growl-barked. I said No, and put him behind me. He sat and licked his lips and looked away. Putting Sage behind me is new to us- in the past I’d observe too much and not teach or protect actively. That never improved the situation. I was sortof thinking that by me NOT reacting to the reaction that it’d extinguish, but that technique does not work with behaviors that are self-reinforcing or that are too important to the dog. I had been told that leash aggression comes down the leash from me and I was trying to not transmit anything down the leash. Not exactly for us: I learned that I need to actively Be With him, support and instruct, or bail him out, and that what he has isn’t truly leash aggression: he is not fearful b/c of me, (although I can make it worse) he IS cautious and wary by nature. I can’t abandon him to make dumb decisions on his own.
Kip stopped quite far away, too and we continued a conversation. I did not conduct a proper person-person conversation with eye contact and all, I was more WITH Sage than Kip- which Kip understood- being alert to Sage’s attention and being available to him when Sage made eye contact with me (Suzanne’s Auto-check in). I had no treats, but I made sure that my friendly talk continued, my posture was relaxed, and I divided my attention between Sage and Kip. Sage had moments of not-reacting interspersed with short barks esp if Kip moved, but Kip knows dogs and was very wise about it all- he spoke to Sage very little, did not look at his eyes, and remained casual as well, and talking with me. I allowed Sage to come out from behind me when he wanted, but not to bark at Kip, so when he barked, I’d tell him, “Nope. If you are scared, get behind me.” and steered him back/stepped in front of him.
Sage was curious, he wanted to know/sniff/greet Kip, but did not trust him yet. When Sage took a step closer, he’d then get scared and bark but leaning his weight back and down. Kip sat down in the road and we kept talking. Kip told me he could see that Sage wanted to say hello, and that a barking dog is not a biting dog. I allowed Sage to walk closer in a circle around to Kip’s side, but still several feet away as long as he was not displaying, then back behind me he went to sit and think. I allowed Sage to choose to approach or not, and how quickly, but brought him back behind me when he appeared to be beyond helping himself.
It seems that when it comes to Freeze, Flight, Fight, he stops at Freeze and panics, going into his distance-increasing behaviors. I realize that the leash limits him from really getting away (flight is not really a choice), but I was prepared to abort this whole interaction and trot briskly home from the minute we first arced around Kip if Sage behaved with too great a fear or not wanting to greet Kip. Because Sage was conflicted, I allowed him to choose to approach but was there to hold his hand and prevent him from going in over his head.
I realized at a distance of about 10 feet that his motion and body language reminded me of how Sage acts when he sees a novel object in the street, such a trash barrel or a political campaign sign. What I can do in that situation is to go up the object myself and touch it. Then Sage will warily approach and sniff and then will feel comfortable and not mind it. I could not do this with a person, however, but now I realized that I had Reilly with me, who was calmly waiting there following the proceedings, and barely caring about either Kip (”Hey, Dude.”) or Sage (”my brother is nuts”). I had Sage behind me and draped Reilly’s leah over her back and said, Rei. Go see Kip, go say hi. She wagged her tail- possibly glad to have something to do- and walked calmly over to him, gently wagging and greeted him. Kip spoke to her sweetly and petted her neck and chin and then she was done with him (not a really demonstrative dog, my Reilly) and walked back over to me. I picked up her leash. Sage watched Reilly greet Kip with interest and quiet.
I am SO very grateful for Reilly, so calm and reliable. It confused me for a long time that her cool comfort in the world did not rub off on Sage much. Nor did his anxiety rub onto her. She is just THAT cool, and unaffected, but Sage’s wariness and fear can only be minimally affected by either the presence of Reilly, or the reward of a food treat. His fear matters that much to him. I think this is why it is beyond the mechanics of pure behaviorism (why counter-conditioning has not had a profound effect). His fear needs to be handled on a real life basis, through our relationship. Suzanne is very big on volitional behavior- allowing the dog to choose and think of things himself and making the right choices SO VERY worth it, “worth it” is defined by the DOG- and I get this because when he is scared, he doesn’t WANT a cookie, pats or to play tug, a cookie makes no sense to him in that context. It would be like doing a transaction at the bank teller window when a guy with a ski mask on walks in the door- pushing brownies in front of my nose will not distract or calm me, even though nothing has happened yet. I love brownies, but right now I might be in danger. His fear is real for him, he wants relief from fear- distance, shielding, comfort. So I believe him, and I learn him, and I give him the only positive thing that matters to him right now.
I know Kip will be kind to Sage, and Sage WANTS to see Kip, but not too fast. I allowed him to get within 3 feet and he earnestly sniffed at Kip’s shoulder, but balked, so I shielded him until he was ready to come out again. A car was coming now, so we couldn’t sit the street anymore. Kip got up and we all walked together to the sidewalk, where Sage sniffed the grass, and looked around. I remembered parallel walking at this time and invited Kip to walk with us back the way we had come. We walked along and Sage relaxed and felt easy again. (again, better moving than still.) We walked two house lots and Sage approached Kip, walking beside me, and wagged his tail and licked first one hand and then the other. Kip is a wise dog person and refrained from reaching for Sage, or bending down, but he just allowed Sage to lick his hands and spoke to him in his deep but friendly voice, “Thank you, Sage, that was very brave!” Sage looked at me and I praised him and would have treated him if i had had anything. I gave him my easy face and bright eyes. We turned around and walked Kip back to his driveway, thanked him for being such a great dog-guy and patient, and interested in Sage- then we headed home.
SO in retrospect, I realize most strangers will not be willing to take this kind of time to help Sage feel comfortable, and in those cases, No just means “No, we aren’t visiting this person.” Sage doesn’t need to love up every one we ever meet, but he definitely wants to know everyone in our neighborhood, and the fact is that not everyone likes dogs, much less large brindle crooked-faced ones. I feel good that he was able to learn about a neighbor he will meet again and again, who enjoys him, and he can greet now. He overcame the fear of Kip that he had from being associated with Jesse all the time.
I think this may have gone faster if we had treats and could do Treat-Retreat (Suzanne taught us to toss the treats to the side of the dog or behind him, to give him a break from you, and to allow him to choose to approach you again for another treat or not. Again the point is that the dog gets to choose to approach and how close to get. He can have the treat for the release of pressure, lowering the intensity. When its the dog’s idea, he owns it and it sticks.) I also think we could probably have parallel walked sooner, but really the goal is not speed, it’s to allow Sage to overcome his own fear on terms HE can control, while I support and teach him as he goes and keep everyone safe.
This was a flow experience for Sage and I and we just took advantage of the event that presented itself naturally- I am not going out of my way to set up situations for him, or to find new strangers and get reps. I think our Reactive Dog class setups were helpful, but mostly in so far as they taught ME how to observe him, timing, and to teach him with clicker training, but I think exposing him for the sake of artificially working this skill is something I wont do. I don’t owe him any more stress. I am going to teach him within his world. I am okay with the fact that his world is small and it’s just not Sage to want to go out into the big world very far or very often. It doesn’t make him sparkle. Sage= stay safe, be a watchdog at home base, play frisbee and tug. I will not make a hiker out of him. I have Reilly for that.
